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Update

(cross posted from Tumblr)

Dinner was curry rice with mirepoix veggies and soybeans. (Other seasonings: butter, salt.)

I still have a goddamn headache.

I am also very tired, due to Wal-Dryl.

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***Cross-posted from Dreamwidth***

Re: Drama pt 2

Okay, what I think is the most positive thing about the Drama Bomb is that I think I finally have proof that the meds I'm taking are effective/are working for me? I thought it might be the case, was pretty sure it was the case, but was not actually completely sure, because due to my extreme avoidance/lurker behavior, I hadn't really encountered anything that would put my meds to the test. (There was the situation concerning the bus pass I get at my clinic but I still lost my temper/panicked, so.)

This time around compared to previous drama bombs:
  • I am not flipping out as things go completely out of control.
  • I am not catastrophizing!
  • I don't feel as if I've been kicked in the chest.
  • I am not experiencing (as much) anxiety.
  • I was able to be coherent, and write coherently.
  • I am not and was not overwhelmed by feelings of anger, frustration, confusion or fear.

Except for the headache I've had all day, I feel fine! So thank you Concern Trolls for putting me in an anxiety-inducing situation. With your help, I was able to personally experience the differences between medicated me and unmedicated me. ***Cross-posted from Dreamwidth***

Re: Drama

((posted earlier this morning on tumblr))

The terrible very bad no good snark post is privatized (and I can’t find it, or open it even though I’m the blog owner, wtf tumbr? If you go private on DW/LJ you can find/read/open your private post when logged in. tumblr you are drunk.), but can be found on my dreamwidth, which is linked on my sidebar. If I receive scolding/complaints about other snark posts, they will be privatized, but will also be on my dreamwidth. (which I will filter, if tumblrites wander in to scold me there.)

I have turned off anon commenting. It will remain off until such a time as I feel safe enough to turn it back on. I will turn off asks all together if I am contacted by the folks scolding me, for any reason. And though blocking on Tumblr is pretty worthless, I will be probably be blocking various folks, who I advise to block me in return, and not contact me further in any respect, for any reason.

I do not like drama. My general reaction to drama/embarrassing situation I am the center of is to shut down and disengage until I can handle the situation again. Since I have some severe communication problems, drama has happened frequently in the past. Disengagement involves not continuing the conversation, blocking/ignoring/refusing to associate with individuals involved in the conversation depending on my interaction with them before and during the conversation, and if necessary, partial to full retreat from the community in question for variable lengths of time.

Currently reassessing my level of involvement with (Voltron) fandom. Anyone who followed me, who followed primarily in hopes of a) more drama b) Voltron fics or recs or critiques is advised to unfollow immediately.

***Cross-posted from Dreamwidth***

Breakfast and Blather

((posted earlier this morning on Tumblr))

Breakfast was: scrambled eggs and hashbrowns. I am annoyed that most of the (yellow) potatoes I bought are actually white potatoes. (They were in-bag, and yellow cost a bit more than white, so I’m especially annoyed.)

I woke up with a horrible headache! I took some ibuprofen and now I have a slightly less horrible headache. I also had weird dreams that might have been fan fic related, but I don’t quite remember them, so.

***Cross-posted from Dreamwidth***

So I just finished an application for Sears. And it had an assessment that involved two seemingly unrelated statements, and you had to pick the one that fit you more than the other one. I tried to weight it as “good worker bee, only a little ambitious” And I got a message back saying that I wasn’t going to be considered for the job because of how I answered the test.

It was for back room associate, which is basically a stocking/offloading trailer position. I HAVE EIGHT DAMN YEARS OF EXPERIENCE IN THIS. But I can’t pass the personality test.

I just. I try to follow all the directions for filling these damn personality assessments correctly, and I just can’t seem to get them right. I try to analyze the questions and figure out what’s really being asked. I try to pick extremes instead of neutral questions, I try to figure out what the trick questions are. No matter what I do. Every damn time, I get it wrong. I HATE personality tests. I just really, really hate them.

In other news, I received an answer to a resume I sent for an office assistant position. The dude wanted to know whether I had a bank account. And it seems to be a personal assistant job, and driving would apparently be involved because one of the tasks was delivering mail and/or shopping/errands.  ***Cross-posted from Dreamwidth***
  • The Paladin disconnects the prosthetic’s nerve connections under Sendak’s direction. Sendak is disoriented from the pain, so this is actually more or less a trial and error process lasting what feels subjectively like an eternity.
  • Next, the Paladin attempts to force him into another containment pod.
  • Sendak resists violently, he can’t stop himself. The idea of being confined and helpless (struggling in the dark) is a horror that makes his flesh crawl and his fur stand on end.
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fic: (they flow from form to form) 7/?

==>Karkat: experience Awkward Storytelling Time

Dad, frowning, sits down and Feferi sends everyone out of the kitchen, except for Karkat. Karkat sits down next to his dad. (Karkat can see his dad Noticing the way Ms. Serket and Ms. Pyrope and Vriska just make a saluting kind of gesture and leave. The way Karen pats Feferi’s shoulder, but also obeys immediately. The way that Feferi briefly seems imposing and commanding, then once everyone is gone, she goes back to looking weirdly embarrassed.) A few minutes go by, with Feferi looking nervous and fidgeting with her hands. “Okay, so.” Feferi pauses. “This is so much crossing the streams,” she mutters.
 

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***Cross-posted from Dreamwidth***

Fan fic Writer...

Why did you change Keith’s name to Akira? I hope it’s not because you thought it would be more “Galran.” Because that’s silly, when one of them is named “Haggar.”

***Cross-posted from Dreamwidth***

Hmm

*Lance gets rescued by half-Galra slaveboy!Keith*

*Lance wants to rescue Keith*

*Keith does not want to go, citing loyalty to emperor.*

*Lance threatens Zarkon to get Keith to comply*

*Keith complies!*

Me: You meant well, but it’s still kind of kidnapping, Lance. Aand coercing someone whose single act of agency just saved your ass.

Also me: Writer, please have that be an issue while Keith is adjusting to his shiny new life, in addition to whatever else he’s been through. Please tell me you thought of Keith completely not understanding the situation and thinking Lance stole him/is his new owner, rather than rescuing him. ***Cross-posted from Dreamwidth***

Blurg

I still have a headache. I also seem to be having acid reflux/indigestion issues. I woke up at two thirty feeling sick, and cancelled my appointment with the job counselor. (I will be doing job-hunt stuff around noonish though.) I eventually went back to sleep, but didn’t feel much better when I woke up.

I am currently in the apartment complex clubhouse. Where two fire alarms keep chirping because they need their batteries replaced. They started chirping yesterday afternoon, and they still haven’t been fixed. *sigh*

I am re-reading (they flow from form to form) with an eye toward working on the next chapter. I also want to work on Safety Dance. I have Ideas. I still haven’t started on “two for mirth.” I want to try to write something for Bones and Salt. I have Ideas for the plot of Sendak’s Apocalypse.  ***Cross-posted from Dreamwidth***